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The some times funny and not so funny things kids ask about God, life, death, the good stuff and the bad stuff

KIDS AND WHAT DO WE TELL THEM ??

Posted by tawodi on July 15, 2007


O.K.  It’s been awhile since I’ve written in this category…..There’s a reason for that!

I’m sometimes terrified to do so !!  I know it shouldn’t be so hard but to actually put it down in writing and the way some take every thing you say to heart scares me when it’s kids that are involved.  Then I had a revelation….get over yourself!!!

I like many over the years have seen so many “did you know”  articles written breathlessly about the damage we can do our kids if we…..fill in the blank.  The next thing you see is a rash of home grown idiots who in attempting to follow said advice screw it up so badly the results are unrecognisable as what was written. In the military there is a term for this F.U.B.A.R.  f’d up beyond all recognition. A strangly apt description of portions of my life and I daresay,  many others as well.

And then,  as I said,  I realised I had to get over myself.. if somebody is actively looking for advice of this nature it at least shows they can read, they are searching and they will be somwhat judicious in what they do with it!!

Now to start,  the first story is funny. About six years ago my daughter now twelve,  shortly after lunch one day asked my wife and I,  daddy,”  When was God here? ”  I looked at my wife and she at me and then asked,  ” why do you ask?”  She pointed at the door, and here it was terribly difficult not to crack up in insane laughter.

On the door was one of those signs you get from your church on any random Sunday , it had been up for a week or so and this is what it said….Good morning, .This is God,  I will be handling all your problems today,  I will not need your help, have a nice day……….

Before you ask,  yes she really believed God had put it there,  well,  we told her where it came from and when and explained the thought behind it,  as a sort of reminder that God IS always with us and if we listen we will very often hear his council in our daily lives, to help us with our problems,  indeed,  many times solve them for us,  when we don’t have a clue what to do.

As she is now a TWEENAGER she is beginning to have difficulty with issues like this,  especially when you consider the daily deluge from the death tube that you and I,  as parents,  are full of crap,  square as bricks,  just as intelligent,  if not an actual joke as people and they can get all their answers from youtube and M.T.V. as well as nicklodeon T.V. and heaven forfend Disney channel. Of course if you let your kids watch that crap on a continual basis you get exactly what you deserve….sorry about that!!!

NEXT NOT SO FUNNY QUESTION….. Dad do you still believe as you once did,  when you told ME all this stuff about God ??  My friends are really raggin’ on me something fierce and I don’t know what to do about it!!  My gut response to this question is and always has been. ” Well,  tell them to stuff themselves up their own butt!!”  A somewhat less than caring comment for a preacher,  no??  Well I figured that the CARING response should be ” Honey, anyone who truly likes you will see you are happy and that will be good enough for them. ” ” The ones who don’t really care about YOU will always rag on you,  to be what they think you should be,  so they can have your approval for the things they know in their hearts,   are truly wrong.”

“Dad, why do you always seem to think it is so easy,  to do the right thing no matter what somebody says?”

DARLING DAUGHTER MINE;  Where the Devil did you ever get the idea that it’s Easy!!??!!  Being true to the truth and yourself is the toughest thing in life you will ever do. The love that God has for us,  is not the only thing that makes  it possible,  people CAN have good character if they work very hard for it,  but,  and this is a big BUT,  We as people of God,  have in our hearts the holy Spirit,  that never lets us doubt the correct course to take,  if we but listen.

Now we come to the crux of the matter. How do we listen??  When do we listen??  Where do we listen??  What do we listen to??  Why do we listen?? When we’re not sure we are listening the right way.  or to the right thing, who do we ask??

As a parent I hope you have counselled your kids to NEVER listen to their friend when the chips are down….oooooh how can I SAY that !! Well that’s easy to answer,  their friends have little skulls full of mush,  just like they do,  WHAT DO THEY KNOW???  As I raised my older kids and this one,  I always stressed this and usually about the age she is now,  she has had about ten examples of how they don’t know their butt from their elbow!!  At least any more than she does!!  there is no one who will care for you more than your own family,  NO ONE!!  That is the primary lesson here,  we as a people,  have let the raising of our children go to the point that we stand there wringing our hands whining,  “It’s so hardddddd. ”  Like you boobs,  see on the Oprah show for your daily crying jag. Wake the hell up!!  This job is too important to leave to someone looking for ratings!!  These are YOUR kids and that’s what this little page in the middle of nowhere is what you came to read.  Or isn’t it?   Did you want something smarmy,  to make you feel better about yourself.   Or were you looking for the truth??  I’m sorry I don’t mean to offend anyone but it needs to be said.  The ultimate responsibility is yours,  there is no getting around that.  Too many say they didn’t know,  or they didn’t see,  bullfeathers!! Most of the time they weren’t looking!!  They were stuck in the death tube themselves ” Leave me alone right now,  I’m watching celebrity death match!!”  I’m sure that will be a great comfort to you when you get the phone call no one wants. God forbid!!

I don’t usually close on a down note and if you think about it I mean really THINK about it this is not such an ending you are or have at least read this far and there is only one reason for that.  It certainly isn’t because I have the answer to your life.  It is because YOU CARE and are searching for answers to help you find a way to bring up your children in what has become a very scary world out there. You ARE smart enough to do it!!  You ARE GOOD  enough to do it!!   SO DO IT!!

That’s the hard part self doubt but if you seek God in your life He WILL support you,  it will be hard at times,  we have bad things happen to us as Christians too,  but we have an edge,  the support of our God,  Jesus Christ and the fellowship of our Churches,  which is priceless in an insane world.

Have faith,  go with God,  be well and take care……Rev.  Bruce……………………………………………………..Tawodi

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QUESTIONS KIDS ASK

Posted by tawodi on May 16, 2007


Remember the old Art Linkletter show,  kids say the darndest things??  I don’t know why that just popped into my head but I guess it is related. Kids ask some very difficult questions in relation to faith issues and we can sometimes be at a loss, when it comes time to answer them.

A childs first experience with death usually is with a pet such as a canary or a gold fish, parrakeet or whatever.  If they and you are lucky that is,  but we’ll start there.

Many parents are afraid of being honest with their kids in relation to death especially in modern society. well that is a mistake. We in western societies do every thing we can to remove our “lower functions” from our consciencness  and of course this would include death.

In too many ways to explain here,  this is a huge mistake and we’ll just mention the most obvious one.  We need to prepare our selves for life and by shying away from the “icky” stuff,  we are woefully unprepared for the reality of it when it happens.  Bathroom functions,  infected wounds, illness serious and illness terminal, and of course death.  It is an unfortunate fact friends. None of us are getting out of here alive………

Usually a kid can understand something is no longer alive but they don’t understand it will never be alive again. To them it’s asleep and will wake up when it’s not tired any more,  right mom?  It wont never wake up again …..I dont get to play with him/it /her any more??? Why,  was I bad??   Was it bad??   Will it go to hell like the Preacher says??   Is it gonna get all burned up now??   Will it hurt when it does??   If I fall asleep and can’t wake up,  will I get all burned up??   Why does God want to burn me up mommy??   I’ll be real good so He doesn’t burn me up ….will you tell him I’m good, so He doesn’t burn me up???   Gee!!  I wonder why we can’t get the kid to Sunday school any more???

All these and more as a father of four I have had to answer and so will you,  or you have already tried to.  Or perhaps you have thought of these things and prayed that your kid will be thirty five before the question comes up…..don’t count on it!!

We all can understand how to counsel a kid when they encounter death,   that it will not happen to them for a long, long time. That usually holds the fear at bay till they can understand. but some times it doesn’t  work that way,  death like life can sometimes whack us right between the running lights when we don’t expect it and then we’re really in trouble.

Some thing every parent should consider is to use the death of a pet as a teaching tool right now. Don’t shy away from it, but use it as a gift,  to give your child the concept that death,  is simply the other end of life.  If the pet has died from illness you can explain that God has made us so that when we,  or a pet gets “broken” sometimes it’s too broken to be fixed and it really hurts,  to be that broken,  and it dies and doesn’t hurt any more.  To the child mind,  this is a bare beginning to understanding,  in a way they can comprehend.  Toys get too broken to play with,  and so do living creatures and people too.

Interrment can be described as laying to rest, the pet,  or the loved one,  so they can rest and wait for God.  Yes I know, that the concept of a soul for a pet is a theological no  no,  but we are talking about the least damage possible here,  to a child in fear.  Seen that way,  when they go to chatechism, then,  they can learn the theological concepts , at the age of twelve or thirteen they can handle it.

I will tell you a true story that I heard from a mentor of mine in the clergy it may be apocriphal or sort of an urban legend but I can see it happening in my minds eye,  as I have heard parts of it my self and perhaps you have also.

As the story goes a little girl’s father was killed in an accident and when she asked the mom why her daddy had to die she was told that God needed another star in heaven…… we all have heard a variation of this with our own ears,  so that’s why I believe this story…Anyway,  when she was told this,  the little girl exploded in rage and screamed, ” Why didn’t he turn on a light,   He didn’t need to kill my daddy,   He’s God,   He could have lit the lights!!!!!

O.K. you have the basic idea,  you’re not stupid.  If you were,  you would not have read this far,  you are genuinely concerned about this aspect,  of things and are searching .  This is just one look at a very difficult subject,  but is at present long enough.   To stop here, is best,  as we might get lost in the words and lose the meaning. I promise there  will be more in a day or so as this one subject is kind of hard to get our minds wrapped around all at one sitting.

Be well friends, and at peace,  Tawodi…out

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