LIFE RELIGION FAMILY

a place to come and discuss in peace, things of religion, life, and families

Husbands are they really human??

Posted by tawodi on May 10, 2007


O.K. Here is the first “category” post so you can get a feel what I’m about,  every thing is not dead serious here, so have fun as well as maybe gain a little insight.

    Ladies,  be honest,  how many times have you asked this question??  A thousand, a bazillion ??  Yeah I know you have no idea it seems like you never stop asking doesn’t it? 

    Well us guys are human just a different genus, no I didn’t say genious, I said genus. Which means of course same species but different.  Yeah,  you knew that already didn’t you.

   O.K. first off,  guys do know how to pick up their socks, underwear, shirts pants and other items from the floor. this is where your superior training will have to be used. You see there is a basic problem and you can blame his mother. As a matter of fact she’s the major reason for YOUR problems. As he was raised,  he learned that women pick stuff up, boys throw it down,  girls pick it up,  that’s the way life is right??

   So you can see here,  we don’t have a failure to communicate, you can not fail at something you don’t do…..can you?  It is not a failure on your prart his refusing to pick stuff up, well let me be clearer,  it sorta is because you keep picking it up. Oh I know,  you scream and holler, jump and shout,  collapse in tears, or the old tried and true shut him down for a week. But that punishes you too, and besides you just can’t stand the constant whining after four or five days can you?? And……. each time you do this,  it lasts about a week and SHAZAMM he’s back to leaving his socks in the kitchen again!!

   Well now you know that I am at least housebroken,  it’s kind of hard not to be, after you’ve been married as long as I have,  if I wasn’t,  my wife would have killed me long ago!!

   Here is your solution,  every guy,  young,  middle aged,  or old and decrepit like me,  has a favorite shirt, jacket, hat, old pair of sneakers, something,  and each of these items looks like it’s been shot at least once for trying to escape doesn’t it?

   Go out and buy a new trash can, put it in a strange place,  somewhere he would never think of looking,  like in the closet with the other trash cans.  SEE,  I’ll bet you didn’t think I knew,  you took out the trash too!! Because if you don’t,  it will solidify into an urecognizable pile in your kitchen and won’t be found till long after you’re both dead right??  O.K. when you break down and start picking his stuff up again ( and you will) put it in the new trash can and keep it covered. On said cover with a very small piece of tape write the word  ” hamper”  Yes I know he can read,  but we both know he doesn’t know what hamper means does he?  When the hamper is full or when you decide he’s asking too many questions ask him to take out the trash cans on trash day……….Now the very next time he asks you honey where is my clubhouse tee shirt tell him it’s in the hamper….he of course will say …..Hamper what’s that???  You then escort him into the trash can closet and show him the “hamper” . Don’t stand too close as if he passes out he may fall on you and injure you. What usually happens though is he will start gasping for air turn and gasp how….gasp…..could….gasp….you…!!!! Your answer of course is, how could I what?  He will say something like throw away my ( insert item/s). whereupon you look innocent ( come on we know you can) and say I didn’t throw anything out. He will say yes you did its in the trash can and you sweetly say, no …it isn’t…….It’s in the new hamper I bought, just for your stuff I find on the floor, see it says so right on the piece of tape. right there.

You have just solved  three problems they will NEVER rear their ugly head again #1 he will leave nothing on the floor for you to pick up.#2 He will NEVER let you put trash in the cans without checking it first ( read putting it there himself) And #3 he most assuredly will NEVER let you carry a trash can out to the curb on trash day again !!!

AM I  SMART, OR WHAT GIRLS!!!!

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One Response to “Husbands are they really human??”

  1. Mike Dolan said

    BRUCE…WHAT ARE YOU DOING BROTHER!!!?
    Dont go giving ideas like that…LOL.

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